[ It would be so much easier if Sayori just started lashing out against her. If she yelled at her, accused her of all the horrible things she's done. If she slapped her, if she promised to get back at her. Yet that's not what's happening.
Sayori is kind. Too kind, even. But nobody can be that kind. ]
...
[ Monika remains silent, trying her very hardest not to break down sobbing. She just needs to focus. It's hard, but she manages to keep it all under control. Until she feels like she can pull back. The hug should be comforting... But it hurts. Sayori stabbing her would hurt less, ironically. Should she asked her to be honest? But that'd be selfish.
She wants to be her better self too, doesn't she? Should she deprive her of that just because she'd feel better if only Sayori started acting the way she had expected her to? No, she can't. ]
... That world, it's... It's a chance at a new start. [Now that she's standing in front of her, it may be noticeably Monika is slightly older. Two-three years or so, but enough so she's the slightest bit different from how she was.] I'll be here to help you... If you want.
That, and maybe there's a part of her--no, a large part of her that wants to push Monika. Shove her away, make her disappear; make it so this moment wasn't happening at all, and then she wouldn't have to face it. What does she do? She doesn't have the answer, and even as Monika pulls away, Sayori's arms dropping and her feet taking a step back, this doesn't feel any better.
She looks at Monika, but she avoids anything that really makes her examine her: gaze flittering, her hands coming up near her chest. Her words are just as uncomfortable, an offer she doesn't know what to do, because what does it mean? This isn't what Monika would be doing. She deleted her, after all. What game is she playing? And why does she have to be so defenceless against it?
It's a slow response in return, but Sayori giggles nervously, her gaze down to the side. ] Ehehe... um... I... I'd like some time... everything... it's been a lot. I don't understand it, but...
[ She takes another step back, forces herself to look at Monika. She isn't smiling now, her lips pinched and her brow furrowed. There's something of an attempt, but it's not reaching her face. ]
...I want to go.
[ And it doesn't feel like she can, unless Monika allows it. ]
That hurts more than anything else so far. She's terrified, isn't she? When she looks at her, all that Sayori sees is a monster. All she sees is someone who has hurt her and who dared come see her as if nothing had happened. All she sees is her past and the impossibility to ever escape it.
Why... Why had she even come? What had she expected? She shouldn't had. She should have left Sayori alone. She should have done her best to avoid her and make sure she never has to worry about her existing in the same world as her. To come here had been a selfish and irresponsible decision. She can see it clear as day now. ]
... Y-Yes, of course.
[ She takes a step back as well and turns around. Sayori shouldn't be the one to go, she should be. Nothing she can do or say will make this better. What she needs isn't Monika's excuses or help.
[ It would've been her, probably. If Monika hadn't run first--Sayori wanted to, so badly. But when the other girl does it, though there's a need in her feet to move, she stays still. She's stuck. Like moving right then might set something off, and what?
She watches the other leave instead, and feels a surging of emotion rush to her head. The pinprick of tears now no longer a threat, but a small dribble beginning to escape her eyes. Sayori drags her hands up to the sides of her head and pinches at her hair, dark and wet in contrast to its normal colour.
Why? Why? Why? repeats in her head, and darker thoughts. She can't stay here, she won't, and so turning on her own heels, Sayori runs--leaving behind the stuffed toy that she had been holding so fondly before.
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no subject
Sayori is kind. Too kind, even. But nobody can be that kind. ]
...
[ Monika remains silent, trying her very hardest not to break down sobbing. She just needs to focus. It's hard, but she manages to keep it all under control. Until she feels like she can pull back. The hug should be comforting... But it hurts. Sayori stabbing her would hurt less, ironically. Should she asked her to be honest? But that'd be selfish.
She wants to be her better self too, doesn't she? Should she deprive her of that just because she'd feel better if only Sayori started acting the way she had expected her to? No, she can't. ]
... That world, it's... It's a chance at a new start. [Now that she's standing in front of her, it may be noticeably Monika is slightly older. Two-three years or so, but enough so she's the slightest bit different from how she was.] I'll be here to help you... If you want.
[ And if not, then she'll leave her alone. ]
no subject
That, and maybe there's a part of her--no, a large part of her that wants to push Monika. Shove her away, make her disappear; make it so this moment wasn't happening at all, and then she wouldn't have to face it. What does she do? She doesn't have the answer, and even as Monika pulls away, Sayori's arms dropping and her feet taking a step back, this doesn't feel any better.
She looks at Monika, but she avoids anything that really makes her examine her: gaze flittering, her hands coming up near her chest. Her words are just as uncomfortable, an offer she doesn't know what to do, because what does it mean? This isn't what Monika would be doing. She deleted her, after all. What game is she playing? And why does she have to be so defenceless against it?
It's a slow response in return, but Sayori giggles nervously, her gaze down to the side. ] Ehehe... um... I... I'd like some time... everything... it's been a lot. I don't understand it, but...
[ She takes another step back, forces herself to look at Monika. She isn't smiling now, her lips pinched and her brow furrowed. There's something of an attempt, but it's not reaching her face. ]
...I want to go.
[ And it doesn't feel like she can, unless Monika allows it. ]
no subject
That hurts more than anything else so far. She's terrified, isn't she? When she looks at her, all that Sayori sees is a monster. All she sees is someone who has hurt her and who dared come see her as if nothing had happened. All she sees is her past and the impossibility to ever escape it.
Why... Why had she even come? What had she expected? She shouldn't had. She should have left Sayori alone. She should have done her best to avoid her and make sure she never has to worry about her existing in the same world as her. To come here had been a selfish and irresponsible decision. She can see it clear as day now. ]
... Y-Yes, of course.
[ She takes a step back as well and turns around. Sayori shouldn't be the one to go, she should be. Nothing she can do or say will make this better. What she needs isn't Monika's excuses or help.
What she needs is her absence. ]
I... Take care, alright?
[ And without another word, she runs away. ]
no subject
She watches the other leave instead, and feels a surging of emotion rush to her head. The pinprick of tears now no longer a threat, but a small dribble beginning to escape her eyes. Sayori drags her hands up to the sides of her head and pinches at her hair, dark and wet in contrast to its normal colour.
Why? Why? Why? repeats in her head, and darker thoughts. She can't stay here, she won't, and so turning on her own heels, Sayori runs--leaving behind the stuffed toy that she had been holding so fondly before.
The despair will be staying with her tonight. ]