[ It felt good on his side good... Hearing that made her happier than she could have imagined. Maybe now was the right time to take things slightly further? They were clearly friends now, right? So that was natural. ]
I was hoping... Perhaps I could get to know you better...? [She knew so little about Soundwave still. Why, she had no idea his current appearance was an avatar. He was shrouded in mystery... But just asking questions with no reasons would be too intrusive.] I really want to know if what I felt on that day was love or something else.
[ Okay, that was maybe a bit too much. She didn't want to scare him off by saying words like "love" too casually. She knew many people were afraid of committed relationships... And that wasn't at all what she was after! Well... It was, but she knew it was much too early to think about that. The only reason she did was because she had made so much of her life revolve around the idea of loving and being loved. ]
I'm sorry, I guess I came off too strongly. [An awkward laughter.] Um, ahaha. If you'd rather we continue as if nothing happened, that's fine too.
[ ... She looked away after those last words. That was hardly better. It made it sound like she was hoping he'd become her boyfriend. Well, she did hope it would come to that... But she also knew she was desperate for love and affection. So what was it she was feeling? Desperation or love? And that was only half the equation. What was he feeling? She'd made the mistake once of not even considering what her crush could be feeling... Never again. ]
[If what she felt on that day was love or something else? He can't help but blink at her over what she said, head cocking slightly. It's... certainly unexpected, and it may leave him a little speechless. Fortunately for her, that isn't enough to scare him off. While "Love" isn't a very casual word people should throw around in his opinion, his experience with friends who do throw it at him means that even that word can be used platonically in a friendship. The seeds of love might possibly be planted in his spark now, but at this stage it hasn't yet sprouted for him to recognize such feelings. Even then it'll probably take a while for him to recognize that.
Whatever Monika meant by love, well... he isn't about to ask her that. It's odd to ask or to think if she has feelings for him. Well, he has the power to read minds, but he isn't about to dig the inside of her head to find that out. That's a gross misuse of his power. Regardless, they aren't that close yet, and he isn't about the make the awkward air any more awkward.
Instead, he'll ease up her worries a little. Love or not, he wouldn't mind getting to know her better, too.]
I won't be opposed to us bonding more. Truth be told...
[His lips purse for a beat before he speaks up again.]
Next time... if you ever want to Synchronize with me, you're welcome to do so. We do not have to necessarily do the same thing we did back then, but I am willing to do whatever level of Synchrony you are comfortable with doing.
[ As if to emphasize their words, she slowly took his hand with her own and closed her fingers around it. And he said whatever level she was comfortable with... Explaining her position on the matter would probably be a good way for him to have a better idea of how she was thinking. She remained silent a bit and then— ]
My only limit I think is, well. Actually making love, you know? [She blushed as she said that. And the choice of words spoke volume, too. She didn't see it as just having "sex." To her, it was an act of love.] Of course, I know with Synchrony and Transformations... The idea of having a singular partner with whom you do these things is unrealistic. I'm slowly trying to get used to that idea.
[ She didn't like it. She'd go so far as to say she hated it. Still, she was getting used to the idea. What if she got in a relationship, and her partner felt unbearable urges due to Malachite's tantrums or some other reasons? Would this be cheating, when everything in this world was encouraging them to do these things? If she couldn't adapt to this world's rules, she would never have her happy ending.
Besides, while having a sexual relationship with only one person would be difficult in this world... This didn't have to apply to love. Lust and love were two different feelings. It was possible to love a single person and still be in an open relationship. She'd never cared much for a concept like that... But her alternative was to chase an impossible dream. ]
But I still believe it's possible to have a singular partner for whom you feel "love," even if you have sex with others. [Again, her words were telling what her perspective on the matter was. Doing it with others wouldn't be an act of love. If she rationalized it this way... Well, it made it easier to get used to this world's weird rules.] One unique person with whom you share a special and precious emotional bond. That's why... I want my first time to be with them, whoever they'll end up being. [She laughed awkwardly once more.] Ahaha! I'm probably sounding so weird, huh?
[Her hand taking his own was a bit unexpected, but he easily interlaces his fingers with hers anyway, squeezing lightly in return and initiating the generation of Manna. The warmth flow of Manna helps with making him feel relaxed, as he fully listens to what Monika had to say. A raised brow betrays his expression when she said her limit is at "making love" before he understood what she meant exactly and why she choose the exact wording.
So that is how she viewed it, huh. Each person views sex differently than one another, after all. His own perspective on it and how he feels about it certainly differs from Monika's, but he can also recognize how one would want to limit such an intimate act to only their one special person. It's special to her. Furthermore, it seems that Monika understands the workings of this world, that a singular partner can be difficult to maintain here where intimacy is encouraged and Malachite's tantrums affecting Gembondeds' minds. Her words at the end also do suggest that her heart is only open for one person.
Monika being open about such matters certainly helped him to know exactly what boundaries he shouldn't break as well as her perspective. Soundwave isn't the type to push for intimacy, but he'd much rather know where his partners' comfort lies at if they do decide to sync.]
No... Not at all. I understand your perspective, your beliefs on the matter, and where your limits are.
[It's not needed to be said, but he respects her wishes.]
An open relationship works best in a world like this. With your mindset, one I agree with, it's possible for a relationship to work out for you and the one you love here... so long as you and your partner maintain communication, of course. And I had seen it worked out before.
[He's quiet for a moment, recalling back his time at Prismatica. It's such an odd topic for him, if only because he never expected himself to be talking about it in the first place. However, he still has his own perspective about maintaining a relationship here.]
I wasn't in a... romantic relationship myself but my friend was in a romantic relationship yet still maintains her intimate relationships with her friends. I'll admit that back then it was the first I've heard of such a concept, and it took some time for me to understand the idea...
[ So he'd only heard about such romantic relationships recently, and it took some time for him to understand the idea... It confirmed her suspicions. And it made her feel a bit sad, too. She couldn't imagine a life where you didn't know of "love," even as an idea. Well, if you didn't know about it, then perhaps life was alright... But once you did know about it? Life became intolerable unless you could experience "love."
Such a beautiful yet dangerous emotion. ]
It can be something of a strange concept to understand... [She marked a pause.] There is nothing logical about it. But I think that's what makes it so beautiful. If love made sense, it wouldn't be the same. [She raised the index finger of her free hand.] That's why there are so many stories and poems written about love. It's something so mysterious and powerful that even a billion words could never explain.
[ Well of course, there would be people talking about how it was all nothing more than a biological or mechanical reaction, induced by chemicals or electric currents... And while they were not entirely wrong, it was much more than that. No science could explain some of the deeper mysteries of love. ]
You're not human either, right? [At this point, she figured asking would be nothing more than a formality.] Um... Have you ever wanted to try being in a romantic relationship? [Oh no, that question sounded so bad. She immediately tried correcting the trajectory.] I mean, ah, is it something you've been curious about?
[ Monika regretted having asked that question the very moment it had escaped her lips. Too forward and too nosy. Besides it conveyed what she'd actually wanted to say so poorly... She bit her lower lip and looked down. ]
[In Soundwave's case, it's less that he doesn't know about love, more that it's not something he cared too much about, aside from the family-type love he has for his closest friends. Well, he's not the most knowledgeable about romantic love anyway, but it was just something he didn't have the time to think about during the war. Even after the war was over, he was between running a space station and aiding the Autobots on Earth. Essentially he was a workaholic who barely had much free time to think or do stuff leisurely before arriving on Prismatica... And here too where he has too much free time he doesn't know what to do about it.
Soundwave at least knew about how his own kind deal with close relationships like romance- Conjunx Endura, two Cybertronians who are sworn together for life. It's only when he was brought to another planet that the idea about having multiple love partners at the same time was a thing.]
Emotions are hardly logical anyways. And I'm fine with them being that way.
[He isn't like that one emotionless mech who's more logic-driven he hates to his very core. And being an empath, he embraces emotions instead of discarding them.
There's that question about him not being a human. He was wondering how long it'll be before it'll come up. Anyway, he would easily confirm that. But then the next question Monika asked has him stunned into silence instead, eyes widening. Even after she corrected the trajectory, it's a bit too late. It was still an awkward question-- one that takes him a moment before he answers, sheepishly.]
I... suppose I have?
[Here, the avatar's cheeks flush red. It would be a lie if he didn't have a couple of crushes due to him having to experience a lot of intimacy lately over the years. Though with those people not being here, it's kinda impossible to have them reciprocated.]
[ That answer felt so uncomfortable. She forced herself to smile and laugh, but there was nothing natural about it. Everything had been going so well and she'd broken it all with one dumb question. ]
I-I see... Ahaha!
[ Dear, she had really ruined everything, hadn't she...? What was she supposed to say after that? Well, she'd confirmed he had the desire to start a relationship like that someday, so at least she knew it wasn't a dead end. If she was any more forward now, she was going to scare him off, wasn't she?
The right thing to do if she was to salvage this disaster would be to offer him a date... Not something romantic or anything of the sort, just something between two friends. It would postpone this entire discussion and give them both some space and time, while eventually helping them grow closer... So she figured, anyway. But after that blunder? She wasn't sure she had the courage for it any more.
Or maybe she was just overthinking things. ]
So... [A dramatic pause and—] W-What did you think of milk coffee with sugar?
[ Oh gosh that was pathetic. The topic shift was so sudden and unnatural, there was no way he wouldn't pick up on how weird it was. She was going to replay those events in her mind over and over after that, and she knew she was going to cringe so hard at that particular part. ]
[Yeah, it was difficult for even him to think up a response after that, shifting a little in his seat before awkwardly sipping his drink. Soundwave is usually a quiet person, but this... the air has become awkward again. He doesn't know what to say, until Monika brings up another topic, abrupt as it is.]
Ah, I... think it's good. Better than regular coffee, though I prefer tea.
[Soundwave obviously wouldn't bother putting up a fake smile and all that. Honestly, if he were in Monika's shoes, his own topic shift would just be as sudden and unnatural. Best he could do now is to go along with it, act like as if it's a natural thing.
At least he's still willing to stick around, despite her blunder. She said she wanted to know him better, didn't she? Plus there is a topic they can actually talk about instead, something he was willing to converse about before that little blunder.]
You asked that I'm not human earlier. I am not. I am a Cybertronian, a mechanical lifeform.
[ So the coffee had been good at least. That was... Something? It didn't look like it, but Monika's brain was working very hard to find a way to fix her mistake right now. It had been so much easier when she'd been in the game, somehow... Perhaps because she had not actually been face-to-face with the player. Also because she had had a lot more time to prepare what to say. Mhm, perhaps that was it? What would she have done back then?
... She would have said "I love you," proceeded to elaborate on her love and concluded with "Do you accept my confession? Do you want to be my boyfriend?" Oh and of course, she'd have hacked the game to remove the NO option.
Okay, so, trying to think like her old self was probably not the best idea. Well, declaring her love right here and now was certainly an option, just not the best one when she wasn't even sure about her feelings. Besides she couldn't remove the no option here. At least that was proof she'd made progress... It was a bit reassuring, if only completely unhelpful. ]
Oh...!
[ Cybertronian? She didn't know what it was, but to her that was a word that had just saved her from the worst disaster in her life. Thank goodness he wasn't as inept as her when it came to resolving uncomfortable situations.
She immediately managed to put back on a good enough smile. It felt as if he'd taken it upon himself to help her overcome this awkward situation. Maybe that was a good sign? ]
A mechanical lifeform? So you are, kind of like an android?
[Probably not the best idea to confess it now when he doesn't hold the same feelings towards Monika. That might actually get him to leave.]
No, nothing like that.
[There's a small frown on him when she suggests that he's like an android, but he can see how she came to that, given his appearance. Well, when the topic of his being comes up this is the point where he'll have to correct people's misconceptions about him or his kinds. He understands that not many people have seen a mechanical lifeform before.]
My true form is fully mechanical. Nothing like an android... or a robot. [That term specifically has a different connotation to him or any Cybertronian for the matter than how humans may use the word traditionally.] Cybertronians are as natural a part of this existence as any organic creatures. Nothing artificial about us.
[Although he personally doesn't have a problem with artificial beings, otherwise he wouldn't be talking to Monika after she confessed to being an A.I. It's just that there are some differences between them.]
As for this form you're seeing, it is a holoavatar- a holographic projection. [One that is remarkable "real" and solid.]
[ She noticed that frown. Well, that was understandable considering everything he was saying... It would be like if you compared a human to a biological yet artificially-engineered lifeform, such as a clone. Similar, yes, but one was artificial while the other was natural. She'd have to be careful with her word choice in the future.
Of course, it was a bit hard for her to imagine how mechanical lifeforms could naturally occur the same way than organic creatures... But here she was, in a reality far from hers and with a real human body. An universe where such things were possible? It wasn't far-fetched. If anything, keeping in mind there is an infinite amount of universes with an infinite amount of possibilities, it was even likely. ]
I see... [She slowly nodded.] A projection? But you're like, solid? Ahaha.
[ She slightly moved the hand that was still holding his as if to emphasize the point. She didn't disbelieve him— If anything, she was curious as to how it worked. It made her wonder for a moment if perhaps her own body was a projection and she still existed on a computer somewhere in the city... But no. She'd probably know it, as he did. ]
I've never seen your true body I think... [She was a bit curious what he looked like, but she wouldn't inquire.] Do you prefer your avatar?
[ Well, if he was truly fully mechanical, she imagined it might be difficult to get Synchrony when most gembonded were human-like... Maybe that was just it. Or maybe he just felt this avatar defined him better now? Humans did this, too. Changing their names and appearances to better fit what they wanted to be. ]
[Fortunately for everyone, Soundwave could handle being called a robot or be mistaken as artificial to a degree, so he won't be too offended over a mistake others wouldn't know about. He'd only get irritated when someone would insist on using the term or, more annoyingly, argue with him over the proper usage as if they know better. Thankfully, he hasn't met one here yet and people had been pretty respectful.]
Some form of hard-light projection. I don't claim to understand how this tech fully works.
[He answers, all the while squeezing her hand. He knows the purpose of a holoavatar was to blend in within a populace, and here specifically, it's just a useful form to use. Still able to taste, smell, feel his surroundings... almost like he's actually present here. And more importantly, able to perform Synchrony.]
I prefer my true body, of course. However, this... [He gestures with his free hand.] is simply more convenient for me to use on this world. That said, it's not uncommon for me to go out in the city in my true body.
[It's like she thought, it's a bit difficult to Synchronize with people who were human-like, here. While there are certainly some organics- and probably more out there -who wouldn't mind syncing or having lewd acts with a mech, he's still running under the assumption that most of them prefer a body that is more familiar to them. And, well... there are some things he could do only in this form, but he won't bring those up.]
[ She nodded at his explanation. People were vain... Most would naturally be more friendly towards a beautiful young woman, while they would be fearful towards a mechanical lifeform. But it wasn't really fair, was it? Regardless of what he looked like, he was the same person inside. Ideally, he should be treated the same regardless of what form he decided to go with. Well... She imagined she would probably enjoy it more if she were to synchronize with his avatar than with his true body. So that made her just as bad as everyone else, huh?
That was something to think about, actually. Could she be in a relationship with someone who didn't look human? Mhm. Well, there really wasn't much to think about. The answer was obviously yes. She'd loved the player without having any idea what they looked like. What she had tried to initiate had been a completely platonic relationship back then. Those sort of feelings... She couldn't imagine appearances getting in the way.
And ah, she could already imagine herself sitting on the shoulders of a giant mechanical lifeform. That was cute to think about. ]
Well, I wouldn't mind hanging out with your true body every now and then. [She tried smiling reassuringly.] I would rather you feel comfortable and be yourself than try to fit in.
[ Though, all of that brought more questions... One that came to mind was that of gender. Monika had thought of Soundwave as a girl so far, but since it was an avatar, it might not be so. Mechanical lifeform likely didn't have sexes in the first place, so their concept of gender were probably completely different from those she was used to. ]
That makes me think— What you would you like for me to refer to you as? So far I'd assumed you were female, but I'd like to make sure not to accidentally misgender you in the future, ahaha.
[Soundwave is used to be feared. Not just in the context that he was a Decepticon High command, but even his own kind feared him because of the power he was born with. Here? He wasn't discriminated against much, here. He gets some curious people, local or gembonded, approached him with interest or mostly gaze on him. That easily gets annoying for him, and it's another reason why he used the avatar, to avoid their attention.
His head tilts at her reassuring him. It's not as if he was uncomfortable using this form, but he appreciates what she said all the same... and it was good to know that she was comfortable with him, regardless of form. Truthfully, the number of people he met who don't mind him seems to be growing and it makes him feel silly to even had that assumption about how organics/human-like creatures feel about him in the first place. But then again, the humans from his universe weren't fond of Cybertronians.....]
Thank you.
[Soundwave isn't surprised at all by the question, definitely not the first time he's gotten it. Gender... It's a human topic he doesn't quite understand and they seem to be rather obsessed with it, honestly.]
You're talking about gender, yes? ... Technically I am genderless, but if it's easier you may refer to me as male.
[ Monika understood the topic, but her golden rule had always been to go with what people felt the most comfortable with. So technically genderless, but he preferred to be referred to as male. She nodded and raised her free finger as he said that. ]
Got it!
[ Boy, that conversation sure had been saved from what could have been a disaster. Soundwave was to thank for that. She had been completely at a loss after her blunder. But now, that meant she had a chance to turn it all around. It wasn't a video game and there was no need to rush anything. It wasn't like she was at risk of losing her sanity or being trapped in a digital hell. Not in Noctium.
She needed to remember that. So now if she was careful... ]
Um, by the way... [She turned her head to smile at Soundwave once again] I was thinking of visiting Primavera and treating myself to a fancy restaurant while I'm at it. Sometimes next week, but that would be kind of sad doing it alone. Would you like to come with me?
[ Yay, that one went well! She was pretty happy with how she'd managed to word it. It didn't sound at all as though she was trying to go on a date with him... Even though in practice, that's exactly what it was. ]
[With the awkwardness from earlier largely forgotten and Soundwave not thinking much about her blunder, he certainly doesn't think if there was anything deeper to her request there. It sounds like she wanted a friend to visit Primavera with. While Soundwave doesn't see himself as someone who would make a great company, they both wanted to know each other better. It is an opportunity to bond a bit.
Ultimately, he doesn't see a reason to decline, nodding once.]
I have no plans scheduled next week... I wouldn't mind accompanying you. Although I would have to use my avatar if we are to go to a restaurant.
[Not that he minds having to use his holoavatar. He can't eat the food here as his true form, after all. At least, not without having to worry if his tank is able to digest them. Since Soundwave had been to Primavera and all three of its islands before--]
Are you planning to visit all of Primavera's major islands there? I could show you around each one... [It would be a long trip, however.]
[ That sudden exclamation was the only thing that betrayed what was really going on in her head. But hey, maybe she was just excited at the thought of spending the day with a friend? Soundwave may not have thought of himself as good company, but she disagreed vehemently with that. ]
You can come with your true body and shift to your avatar for dinner if you'd like. [She wasn't entirely sure how it worked... Was his avatar like, permanent? Or could he dissolve and reform it at will from his true body?] And I'd really like that.
[ Visiting all four islands would perhaps be too much... But worse came to worse, they'd have to stop after having visited an island. And if this happened... Oh no! Then she'd have to reschedule another date so they could visit the other islands..! That'd be a true tragedy. Ehehe.
She took her phone with her free hand and shifted through it. ]
Let's see... Would Saturday next week at 14:00 work? We could meet up at Primavera's transit station.
[ There was a flashpoint teleporter there so it'd make it easy. She had really planned to go there already, as evidenced by the stuff she had on her phone. It was just very fortunate that this was the perfect occasion for a date, too. ]
[Yes, certainly it's because she was excited to spend the day with a friend. At least that's how he interpret her excitement. What else could it possibly be?
Anyways. He could just materialize his avatar when it's dinner time, true. Eating as his avatar won't be fulfilling or benefit him at all, but at least he'll be able to enjoy the tasty experience through it. It won't be a total waste.]
That works for me.
[If their first friend date goes well, he wouldn't mind future trips on the other islands. Who knows... He might actually find it fun being her company.
He pauses for a bit. Though he agreed to go with her, maybe he should at least show that he's actually interested in spending the day with Monika, too? He's not really the best at expressing that kind of stuff, but he'll try.]
I look forward to our exciting trip together, Monika. [Well... That's good enough coming from him.]
[ Monika did her very best not to look too overjoyed. She was going to think about literally nothing else for the next ten days, so she could afford to keep it all in for a while longer. ]
I'm really looking forward to it, too.
[ She was getting afraid she was going to blow it up with another terrible mistake if it kept going... And she knew for a fact the odds of it happening were getting higher the longer this kept going. She probably should end their conversation here and now... But she wanted him to stay!
Things were really unfair sometimes. ]
I won't keep you any longer, I'm sure you have so many things to do. [That made her sad, but it was better than risking another blunder.] And... Thank you. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
[ She had planned to postpone their "clarification" for what had happened the other day, but... Now that it was done, she really did feel better. Not only that, but she now had something very precious to look forward to. ]
[She may succeed on not looking the part, but he feels the tremendous amount of joy radiating from Monika. She sure is looking forward to it, huh. But there is also sadness in her? Some conflicting feelings in the mix, too. They aren't as overwhelming as her happiness but they're in there, especially when this conversation is coming to an end and her letting him go.
What an odd girl. He isn't entirely sure why she is feeling that way, though he won't bring it up, either. He wouldn't want to turn this good end into an awkward one.]
You're welcome, Monika. And I feel the same.
[All his worries has been lifted thanks to the discussion, his spark feeling lighter now.
With that, he stands up and releases Monika's hand, thereby breaking the warmth contact and Manna generation between them, and then turns towards the front door to leave. But not before looking back at her over his shoulder.]
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[ It felt good on his side good... Hearing that made her happier than she could have imagined. Maybe now was the right time to take things slightly further? They were clearly friends now, right? So that was natural. ]
I was hoping... Perhaps I could get to know you better...? [She knew so little about Soundwave still. Why, she had no idea his current appearance was an avatar. He was shrouded in mystery... But just asking questions with no reasons would be too intrusive.] I really want to know if what I felt on that day was love or something else.
[ Okay, that was maybe a bit too much. She didn't want to scare him off by saying words like "love" too casually. She knew many people were afraid of committed relationships... And that wasn't at all what she was after! Well... It was, but she knew it was much too early to think about that. The only reason she did was because she had made so much of her life revolve around the idea of loving and being loved. ]
I'm sorry, I guess I came off too strongly. [An awkward laughter.] Um, ahaha. If you'd rather we continue as if nothing happened, that's fine too.
[ ... She looked away after those last words. That was hardly better. It made it sound like she was hoping he'd become her boyfriend. Well, she did hope it would come to that... But she also knew she was desperate for love and affection. So what was it she was feeling? Desperation or love? And that was only half the equation. What was he feeling? She'd made the mistake once of not even considering what her crush could be feeling... Never again. ]
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Whatever Monika meant by love, well... he isn't about to ask her that. It's odd to ask or to think if she has feelings for him. Well, he has the power to read minds, but he isn't about to dig the inside of her head to find that out. That's a gross misuse of his power. Regardless, they aren't that close yet, and he isn't about the make the awkward air any more awkward.
Instead, he'll ease up her worries a little. Love or not, he wouldn't mind getting to know her better, too.]
I won't be opposed to us bonding more. Truth be told...
[His lips purse for a beat before he speaks up again.]
Next time... if you ever want to Synchronize with me, you're welcome to do so. We do not have to necessarily do the same thing we did back then, but I am willing to do whatever level of Synchrony you are comfortable with doing.
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[ As if to emphasize their words, she slowly took his hand with her own and closed her fingers around it. And he said whatever level she was comfortable with... Explaining her position on the matter would probably be a good way for him to have a better idea of how she was thinking. She remained silent a bit and then— ]
My only limit I think is, well. Actually making love, you know? [She blushed as she said that. And the choice of words spoke volume, too. She didn't see it as just having "sex." To her, it was an act of love.] Of course, I know with Synchrony and Transformations... The idea of having a singular partner with whom you do these things is unrealistic. I'm slowly trying to get used to that idea.
[ She didn't like it. She'd go so far as to say she hated it. Still, she was getting used to the idea. What if she got in a relationship, and her partner felt unbearable urges due to Malachite's tantrums or some other reasons? Would this be cheating, when everything in this world was encouraging them to do these things? If she couldn't adapt to this world's rules, she would never have her happy ending.
Besides, while having a sexual relationship with only one person would be difficult in this world... This didn't have to apply to love. Lust and love were two different feelings. It was possible to love a single person and still be in an open relationship. She'd never cared much for a concept like that... But her alternative was to chase an impossible dream. ]
But I still believe it's possible to have a singular partner for whom you feel "love," even if you have sex with others. [Again, her words were telling what her perspective on the matter was. Doing it with others wouldn't be an act of love. If she rationalized it this way... Well, it made it easier to get used to this world's weird rules.] One unique person with whom you share a special and precious emotional bond. That's why... I want my first time to be with them, whoever they'll end up being. [She laughed awkwardly once more.] Ahaha! I'm probably sounding so weird, huh?
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So that is how she viewed it, huh. Each person views sex differently than one another, after all. His own perspective on it and how he feels about it certainly differs from Monika's, but he can also recognize how one would want to limit such an intimate act to only their one special person. It's special to her. Furthermore, it seems that Monika understands the workings of this world, that a singular partner can be difficult to maintain here where intimacy is encouraged and Malachite's tantrums affecting Gembondeds' minds. Her words at the end also do suggest that her heart is only open for one person.
Monika being open about such matters certainly helped him to know exactly what boundaries he shouldn't break as well as her perspective. Soundwave isn't the type to push for intimacy, but he'd much rather know where his partners' comfort lies at if they do decide to sync.]
No... Not at all. I understand your perspective, your beliefs on the matter, and where your limits are.
[It's not needed to be said, but he respects her wishes.]
An open relationship works best in a world like this. With your mindset, one I agree with, it's possible for a relationship to work out for you and the one you love here... so long as you and your partner maintain communication, of course. And I had seen it worked out before.
[He's quiet for a moment, recalling back his time at Prismatica. It's such an odd topic for him, if only because he never expected himself to be talking about it in the first place. However, he still has his own perspective about maintaining a relationship here.]
I wasn't in a... romantic relationship myself but my friend was in a romantic relationship yet still maintains her intimate relationships with her friends. I'll admit that back then it was the first I've heard of such a concept, and it took some time for me to understand the idea...
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Such a beautiful yet dangerous emotion. ]
It can be something of a strange concept to understand... [She marked a pause.] There is nothing logical about it. But I think that's what makes it so beautiful. If love made sense, it wouldn't be the same. [She raised the index finger of her free hand.] That's why there are so many stories and poems written about love. It's something so mysterious and powerful that even a billion words could never explain.
[ Well of course, there would be people talking about how it was all nothing more than a biological or mechanical reaction, induced by chemicals or electric currents... And while they were not entirely wrong, it was much more than that. No science could explain some of the deeper mysteries of love. ]
You're not human either, right? [At this point, she figured asking would be nothing more than a formality.] Um... Have you ever wanted to try being in a romantic relationship? [Oh no, that question sounded so bad. She immediately tried correcting the trajectory.] I mean, ah, is it something you've been curious about?
[ Monika regretted having asked that question the very moment it had escaped her lips. Too forward and too nosy. Besides it conveyed what she'd actually wanted to say so poorly... She bit her lower lip and looked down. ]
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Soundwave at least knew about how his own kind deal with close relationships like romance- Conjunx Endura, two Cybertronians who are sworn together for life. It's only when he was brought to another planet that the idea about having multiple love partners at the same time was a thing.]
Emotions are hardly logical anyways. And I'm fine with them being that way.
[He isn't like that one emotionless mech who's more logic-driven he hates to his very core. And being an empath, he embraces emotions instead of discarding them.
There's that question about him not being a human. He was wondering how long it'll be before it'll come up. Anyway, he would easily confirm that. But then the next question Monika asked has him stunned into silence instead, eyes widening. Even after she corrected the trajectory, it's a bit too late. It was still an awkward question-- one that takes him a moment before he answers, sheepishly.]
I... suppose I have?
[Here, the avatar's cheeks flush red. It would be a lie if he didn't have a couple of crushes due to him having to experience a lot of intimacy lately over the years. Though with those people not being here, it's kinda impossible to have them reciprocated.]
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I-I see... Ahaha!
[ Dear, she had really ruined everything, hadn't she...? What was she supposed to say after that? Well, she'd confirmed he had the desire to start a relationship like that someday, so at least she knew it wasn't a dead end. If she was any more forward now, she was going to scare him off, wasn't she?
The right thing to do if she was to salvage this disaster would be to offer him a date... Not something romantic or anything of the sort, just something between two friends. It would postpone this entire discussion and give them both some space and time, while eventually helping them grow closer... So she figured, anyway. But after that blunder? She wasn't sure she had the courage for it any more.
Or maybe she was just overthinking things. ]
So... [A dramatic pause and—] W-What did you think of milk coffee with sugar?
[ Oh gosh that was pathetic. The topic shift was so sudden and unnatural, there was no way he wouldn't pick up on how weird it was. She was going to replay those events in her mind over and over after that, and she knew she was going to cringe so hard at that particular part. ]
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Ah, I... think it's good. Better than regular coffee, though I prefer tea.
[Soundwave obviously wouldn't bother putting up a fake smile and all that. Honestly, if he were in Monika's shoes, his own topic shift would just be as sudden and unnatural. Best he could do now is to go along with it, act like as if it's a natural thing.
At least he's still willing to stick around, despite her blunder. She said she wanted to know him better, didn't she? Plus there is a topic they can actually talk about instead, something he was willing to converse about before that little blunder.]
You asked that I'm not human earlier. I am not. I am a Cybertronian, a mechanical lifeform.
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... She would have said "I love you," proceeded to elaborate on her love and concluded with "Do you accept my confession? Do you want to be my boyfriend?" Oh and of course, she'd have hacked the game to remove the NO option.
Okay, so, trying to think like her old self was probably not the best idea. Well, declaring her love right here and now was certainly an option, just not the best one when she wasn't even sure about her feelings. Besides she couldn't remove the no option here. At least that was proof she'd made progress... It was a bit reassuring, if only completely unhelpful. ]
Oh...!
[ Cybertronian? She didn't know what it was, but to her that was a word that had just saved her from the worst disaster in her life. Thank goodness he wasn't as inept as her when it came to resolving uncomfortable situations.
She immediately managed to put back on a good enough smile. It felt as if he'd taken it upon himself to help her overcome this awkward situation. Maybe that was a good sign? ]
A mechanical lifeform? So you are, kind of like an android?
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No, nothing like that.
[There's a small frown on him when she suggests that he's like an android, but he can see how she came to that, given his appearance. Well, when the topic of his being comes up this is the point where he'll have to correct people's misconceptions about him or his kinds. He understands that not many people have seen a mechanical lifeform before.]
My true form is fully mechanical. Nothing like an android... or a robot. [That term specifically has a different connotation to him or any Cybertronian for the matter than how humans may use the word traditionally.] Cybertronians are as natural a part of this existence as any organic creatures. Nothing artificial about us.
[Although he personally doesn't have a problem with artificial beings, otherwise he wouldn't be talking to Monika after she confessed to being an A.I. It's just that there are some differences between them.]
As for this form you're seeing, it is a holoavatar- a holographic projection. [One that is remarkable "real" and solid.]
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Of course, it was a bit hard for her to imagine how mechanical lifeforms could naturally occur the same way than organic creatures... But here she was, in a reality far from hers and with a real human body. An universe where such things were possible? It wasn't far-fetched. If anything, keeping in mind there is an infinite amount of universes with an infinite amount of possibilities, it was even likely. ]
I see... [She slowly nodded.] A projection? But you're like, solid? Ahaha.
[ She slightly moved the hand that was still holding his as if to emphasize the point. She didn't disbelieve him— If anything, she was curious as to how it worked. It made her wonder for a moment if perhaps her own body was a projection and she still existed on a computer somewhere in the city... But no. She'd probably know it, as he did. ]
I've never seen your true body I think... [She was a bit curious what he looked like, but she wouldn't inquire.] Do you prefer your avatar?
[ Well, if he was truly fully mechanical, she imagined it might be difficult to get Synchrony when most gembonded were human-like... Maybe that was just it. Or maybe he just felt this avatar defined him better now? Humans did this, too. Changing their names and appearances to better fit what they wanted to be. ]
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Some form of hard-light projection. I don't claim to understand how this tech fully works.
[He answers, all the while squeezing her hand. He knows the purpose of a holoavatar was to blend in within a populace, and here specifically, it's just a useful form to use. Still able to taste, smell, feel his surroundings... almost like he's actually present here. And more importantly, able to perform Synchrony.]
I prefer my true body, of course. However, this... [He gestures with his free hand.] is simply more convenient for me to use on this world. That said, it's not uncommon for me to go out in the city in my true body.
[It's like she thought, it's a bit difficult to Synchronize with people who were human-like, here. While there are certainly some organics- and probably more out there -who wouldn't mind syncing or having lewd acts with a mech, he's still running under the assumption that most of them prefer a body that is more familiar to them. And, well... there are some things he could do only in this form, but he won't bring those up.]
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That was something to think about, actually. Could she be in a relationship with someone who didn't look human? Mhm. Well, there really wasn't much to think about. The answer was obviously yes. She'd loved the player without having any idea what they looked like. What she had tried to initiate had been a completely platonic relationship back then. Those sort of feelings... She couldn't imagine appearances getting in the way.
And ah, she could already imagine herself sitting on the shoulders of a giant mechanical lifeform. That was cute to think about. ]
Well, I wouldn't mind hanging out with your true body every now and then. [She tried smiling reassuringly.] I would rather you feel comfortable and be yourself than try to fit in.
[ Though, all of that brought more questions... One that came to mind was that of gender. Monika had thought of Soundwave as a girl so far, but since it was an avatar, it might not be so. Mechanical lifeform likely didn't have sexes in the first place, so their concept of gender were probably completely different from those she was used to. ]
That makes me think— What you would you like for me to refer to you as? So far I'd assumed you were female, but I'd like to make sure not to accidentally misgender you in the future, ahaha.
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His head tilts at her reassuring him. It's not as if he was uncomfortable using this form, but he appreciates what she said all the same... and it was good to know that she was comfortable with him, regardless of form. Truthfully, the number of people he met who don't mind him seems to be growing and it makes him feel silly to even had that assumption about how organics/human-like creatures feel about him in the first place. But then again, the humans from his universe weren't fond of Cybertronians.....]
Thank you.
[Soundwave isn't surprised at all by the question, definitely not the first time he's gotten it. Gender... It's a human topic he doesn't quite understand and they seem to be rather obsessed with it, honestly.]
You're talking about gender, yes? ... Technically I am genderless, but if it's easier you may refer to me as male.
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Got it!
[ Boy, that conversation sure had been saved from what could have been a disaster. Soundwave was to thank for that. She had been completely at a loss after her blunder. But now, that meant she had a chance to turn it all around. It wasn't a video game and there was no need to rush anything. It wasn't like she was at risk of losing her sanity or being trapped in a digital hell. Not in Noctium.
She needed to remember that. So now if she was careful... ]
Um, by the way... [She turned her head to smile at Soundwave once again] I was thinking of visiting Primavera and treating myself to a fancy restaurant while I'm at it. Sometimes next week, but that would be kind of sad doing it alone. Would you like to come with me?
[ Yay, that one went well! She was pretty happy with how she'd managed to word it. It didn't sound at all as though she was trying to go on a date with him... Even though in practice, that's exactly what it was. ]
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Ultimately, he doesn't see a reason to decline, nodding once.]
I have no plans scheduled next week... I wouldn't mind accompanying you. Although I would have to use my avatar if we are to go to a restaurant.
[Not that he minds having to use his holoavatar. He can't eat the food here as his true form, after all. At least, not without having to worry if his tank is able to digest them. Since Soundwave had been to Primavera and all three of its islands before--]
Are you planning to visit all of Primavera's major islands there? I could show you around each one... [It would be a long trip, however.]
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[ That sudden exclamation was the only thing that betrayed what was really going on in her head. But hey, maybe she was just excited at the thought of spending the day with a friend? Soundwave may not have thought of himself as good company, but she disagreed vehemently with that. ]
You can come with your true body and shift to your avatar for dinner if you'd like. [She wasn't entirely sure how it worked... Was his avatar like, permanent? Or could he dissolve and reform it at will from his true body?] And I'd really like that.
[ Visiting all four islands would perhaps be too much... But worse came to worse, they'd have to stop after having visited an island. And if this happened... Oh no! Then she'd have to reschedule another date so they could visit the other islands..! That'd be a true tragedy. Ehehe.
She took her phone with her free hand and shifted through it. ]
Let's see... Would Saturday next week at 14:00 work? We could meet up at Primavera's transit station.
[ There was a flashpoint teleporter there so it'd make it easy. She had really planned to go there already, as evidenced by the stuff she had on her phone. It was just very fortunate that this was the perfect occasion for a date, too. ]
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Anyways. He could just materialize his avatar when it's dinner time, true. Eating as his avatar won't be fulfilling or benefit him at all, but at least he'll be able to enjoy the tasty experience through it. It won't be a total waste.]
That works for me.
[If their first friend date goes well, he wouldn't mind future trips on the other islands. Who knows... He might actually find it fun being her company.
He pauses for a bit. Though he agreed to go with her, maybe he should at least show that he's actually interested in spending the day with Monika, too? He's not really the best at expressing that kind of stuff, but he'll try.]
I look forward to our exciting trip together, Monika. [Well... That's good enough coming from him.]
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I'm really looking forward to it, too.
[ She was getting afraid she was going to blow it up with another terrible mistake if it kept going... And she knew for a fact the odds of it happening were getting higher the longer this kept going. She probably should end their conversation here and now... But she wanted him to stay!
Things were really unfair sometimes. ]
I won't keep you any longer, I'm sure you have so many things to do. [That made her sad, but it was better than risking another blunder.] And... Thank you. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
[ She had planned to postpone their "clarification" for what had happened the other day, but... Now that it was done, she really did feel better. Not only that, but she now had something very precious to look forward to. ]
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What an odd girl. He isn't entirely sure why she is feeling that way, though he won't bring it up, either. He wouldn't want to turn this good end into an awkward one.]
You're welcome, Monika. And I feel the same.
[All his worries has been lifted thanks to the discussion, his spark feeling lighter now.
With that, he stands up and releases Monika's hand, thereby breaking the warmth contact and Manna generation between them, and then turns towards the front door to leave. But not before looking back at her over his shoulder.]
I will see you soon, Monika.