Perfectionists, huh... I'm a bit one myself. [A sigh.] I remember, when someone who didn't fit my image of a perfect Literature Club decided to join, I got very defensive and didn't want them in. Sounds like the same mindset.
[ But that was a bit of a distant memory. ]
But that's wrong. I realized that and they ought to, as well. [Wait--] But wait, you mean you've joined the side of evil?
Like I said, the words good and evil are just words. Both sides handle stuff for companies and the government. For instance, a good shinobi was once tasked with eliminating the homeless to make way for some rich douchebag's mall or something. One of my teammates had to stop it. That said, I know I'm guilty of some crimes as well.
[She wasn't going to pretend she was a saint, even when helping people out.]
Blinded by devotion is another aspect. Not having much choice, I joined Hebijo and began to feel grateful. I gained freedom like never before, even became an Elite thanks to my talents. Between them or the parents who threw me away, of course I felt more grateful to them.
However, while the sides of good and evil shinobi are grey, that doesn't mean there's no such thing as right and wrong. [She looked at her own hands on the table.] I killed teammates who were going berserk and couldn't save them, believing them to just be weaklings. And I nearly killed my own friends for going against my views. Hell, I barely saw them as that. Everyone wanted to be an Elite so badly, and I was targeted constantly when I first arrived. I didn't think any differently than the others, even as we got closer. But...it was through fighting Haruka, I realized I was wrong, how empty my life was, how I was fighting for basically nothing while she tried to just be happy with one of the good shinobi.
[ Getting rid of the homeless to make way for the riches? What kind of person could claim being "good" after doing such a thing? She listened to the entirety of her tale before speaking again. ]
I see... I understand why you see some similarities between our stories. [She tried smiling.] Be true to yourself. That's what I used to believe before my epiphany... And that's still what I want to believe. Ultimately, good and evil are what you said, just words.
It's the only way I feel comfortable with myself. I may fight for others like Caster, but if I can't stay true to myself, I'll just be another tool. That shit sure as hell ain't happening again.
[Unless the king was using them for his own gain. If that was the case...well she'd get to that if they ever reached such a point.]
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[ But that was a bit of a distant memory. ]
But that's wrong. I realized that and they ought to, as well. [Wait--] But wait, you mean you've joined the side of evil?
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[She wasn't going to pretend she was a saint, even when helping people out.]
Blinded by devotion is another aspect. Not having much choice, I joined Hebijo and began to feel grateful. I gained freedom like never before, even became an Elite thanks to my talents. Between them or the parents who threw me away, of course I felt more grateful to them.
However, while the sides of good and evil shinobi are grey, that doesn't mean there's no such thing as right and wrong. [She looked at her own hands on the table.] I killed teammates who were going berserk and couldn't save them, believing them to just be weaklings. And I nearly killed my own friends for going against my views. Hell, I barely saw them as that. Everyone wanted to be an Elite so badly, and I was targeted constantly when I first arrived. I didn't think any differently than the others, even as we got closer. But...it was through fighting Haruka, I realized I was wrong, how empty my life was, how I was fighting for basically nothing while she tried to just be happy with one of the good shinobi.
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[ Getting rid of the homeless to make way for the riches? What kind of person could claim being "good" after doing such a thing? She listened to the entirety of her tale before speaking again. ]
I see... I understand why you see some similarities between our stories. [She tried smiling.] Be true to yourself. That's what I used to believe before my epiphany... And that's still what I want to believe. Ultimately, good and evil are what you said, just words.
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It's the only way I feel comfortable with myself. I may fight for others like Caster, but if I can't stay true to myself, I'll just be another tool. That shit sure as hell ain't happening again.
[Unless the king was using them for his own gain. If that was the case...well she'd get to that if they ever reached such a point.]